NO- Part II: Using the ‘Soft No’ and the ‘Dog-voice No’ in Sexual Situations

Mikel:

This is worth a reblog.

Originally posted on Disrupting Dinner Parties:

content note: discussion of ‘almost’ sexual assault

In NO (Part 1), I talked about how my mother taught me to assert my boundaries when I was I was a little girl. She taught me to say “No!” or “Stop!” loud and clear, with a straight face and a deep, firm voice as if I was talking to a misbehaving dog. When I grew up, it clicked that I could apply this loud, forceful ‘Dog-voice No’ to asserting my sexual boundaries. Furthermore, I took the principle of using firm serious body language and removed the loudness to create what I call the ‘Soft No’—a more palatable, but still potent I-mean-what-I-say signal.

boundaries

Fortunately, I haven’t had to use the Dog-voice No or the Soft No very often. I am lucky enough to have spent most of my life surrounded by people that listen to my words. Nevertheless, every now and then…

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The Cost of Atheism (or just asking questions)

Mikel:

Looks like the “year without a god” guy has been let go from all of his jobs with religious organizations and schools because of his openly questioning religion. Apparently, he has made some people very uncomfortable. The Friendly Atheist has started a fundraiser to help him make ends meet while he lands another job.

And, as his blog post puts very well, he is really learning the costs that being atheists have for some members of our society.

Originally posted on Year Without God:

We still love you!

So many of my closest friends and colleagues have said this to me in the past few days. My initial, unspoken reaction was, “Well, I certainly hope so.” Now I understand that this is not a forgone conclusion. I didn’t realize, even four days ago, how difficult it would be for some people to embrace me while I was embracing this journey of open inquiry into the question of God’s existence. I have to say that anyone who knows me personally, while they may not agree with what I’m doing or fully understand it, has expressed their support for me personally. I deeply appreciate that because the organizations that I have been affiliated with have not been able to do the same.

It began on the evening of January 1—the very first day of my year without god. First text messages, then email saying, “We need…

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Microblogging #365DaysofGratitude

For the past couple months I’ve been occupied with projects that do not include writing new blog entries. However, in the meantime I have made it a personal goal to post something on Twitter each day this year (since my birthday in June) about something for which I am thankful. Well, not quite every morning since I find it incredibly difficult to do anything consistently every day for a year, but the intention is still there. :) These are posted to my Facebook page as well as Twitter, so if you are interested you can follow either source.

https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Skeptical-Seeker/185390804824946

@SkepticalSeeker on Twitter

DOCTOR WHO CHRISTMAS SPECIAL

We’re halfway out of the Dark

Congratulations, we are halfway out of the dark.

For those who don’t get the reference, I watched the Doctor Who “A Christmas Carol” special again last night. The Doctor refers to Christmas or the Solstice (they are considered basically the same in the story) as “halfway out of the dark.”

So celebrate today. We are halfway out of the dark!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Once again it is the special day of the year (at least in the USA) to acknowledge and accept the good things in our lives. Especially those good things which we did not earn: care given to us when we were helpless, rights won for us even before we were born, an entire social structure built up for us so we don’t have to live in daily fear. So easy to take these for granted, but where would we be without them!

And here’s a song called Gratitude by Shelly Segal.

“Community Tree” has Christians fuming in Louisville, KY

Apparently, the supposed “War on Christmas” has already come to my home city, even before Thanksgiving. A press release went out calling Louisville’s big Light Up Louisville spruce a “Community Tree.” And this has stirred controversy and hurt feelings.

It’s Called the Community Christmas Tree – WDRB.com

But not to worry, the city is not going to be “PC” or anything horrid like that. The tree is going to be called the “Community Christmas Tree.”

Don’t misunderstand, I have no problem with calling it a Christmas tree. It would still be a Christmas tree to me even if the city did officially call it a “Community Tree.” I am, after all, a product of a Christian upbringing and I have plenty of warm fuzzy memories of sitting under the Christmas tree. What shocks me (though maybe it shouldn’t by now) is the response of the Christians in this city to the naming of a tree. I have a small sampling of reactions pulled from Mayor Fisher’s Facebook wall (names masked for privacy, of course). Most are negative reactions, though I threw a couple of interesting positive reactions in for balance.

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My favorite negative comment is the “what have we turned into??” comment. I mean, what have we become for calling a Christmas tree a Community tree? A bit more pluralistic? Many of the comments make it clear that the authors think that the city Christmas celebration ought to be a blatant state endorsement of their religion. After all, it’s tradition, right? And tradition is always right. /sarcasm.

It’s not just Louisville of course. Any time a government pronouncement around the winter holidays does not explicitly endorse CHRISTmas, this happens. There is no pronouncement coming from our government regarding how or when or why anyone will be allowed to observe Christmas or any other holiday. America has no government religion, and any county, city, state, or national observance has to be for all citizens, not just the traditional majority. Neither belief in, nor deference to, Christianity or any other religion is required for full participation in civic life in this country. And that, my friends, is the core of our beloved religious freedom.

See also: Wiki Article on Christian Privilege.